Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield

Prior to stepping onto the battlefield with a Narcissist, it is imperative to know their playbook both forwards and backwards.  The behavior of individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder generally defies logic but sadly, their tactics in the Family Court System often fool Judges, Commissioners, Attorneys, Minor’s Counsel, Social Workers, Therapists and even trained Evaluators. Narcissists are the masters of manipulation and projection and are known to launch stealth assaults that will leave their victims in an utter state of confusion and desperation.

 

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One Mom’s Battle

Tina Marie Swithin

Tina Swithin was swept off her feet by a modern day Prince Charming and married him one year later. Tina soon discovered that there was something seriously wrong with her fairytale. The marriage was filled with lies, deception, fraud and many tears. Tina was left in an utter state of confusion. This wasn’t the man that she married…or was it?

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Now Organization for Women Foundation

The Crisis in Family Law Courts

There is a national crisis for women and their children in the family law courts of this country. Affirmed by experts and leaders in the women’s movement, the existence of this crisis is verified by women in every state who report injustice in their family law cases, especially battered mothers trying to protect their children from abusive fathers who aggressively litigate against them, using family court to stalk, harass, punish, and impoverish their former partners and children. NOW recognizes this crisis for women and their children and seeks to address discrimination against women in family courts.  Read more…


South Carolina father held in deaths of 5 children

Timothy Jones shared custody of his children with his ex-wife.

(CNN) — Timothy Jones Jr. allegedly went on a three-state, 700-mile journey that began in South Carolina with the bodies of his five young children wrapped in a garbage bags in the back of his SUV, authorities said Wednesday.

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Mothers Under Seige: Tactics of the Fathers’ Rights’ Movement – How Can a “Good Enough Mother” Protect Herself?

I began to investigate fathers’ rights groups two and a half years ago after leaving an abusive marriage. Even though I already knew what to expect in court from my knowledge of separation, divorce and abuse issues acquired within various support groups, the amount of money I spent and the legal tactics employed by my ex-husband’s attorney shocked me. The entire legal system’s lack of attention to family law and domestic violence issues infuriated me. I am appalled by the inattention given to women in abusive or domineering relationships, who tried to obtain protective orders against domestic violence and child abuse, and who attempted, in vain, to collect child support.

Read the full article here.

 

Category: Bias against mothers in family court

 


Bias against Women Alleging Abuse in Family Courts

Clinical Professor Joan Meier bridges theory and practice in her work on domestic violence, which focuses on courts’ responses to mothers who seek to protect their children from an abusive father, in the context of a custody battle. Courts’ resistance to believing abuse allegations is fueled in large part by the theory of “parental alienation,” which presumes, with little basis, that such allegations are merely a means of “alienating” children from their noncustodial father. Meier’s scholarship has focused on deconstructing this theory, through historical and case analyses; her most recent research in progress, seeks to develop an empirical basis for the gender bias critique, through analysis of all published appellate custody decisions involving alienation and abuse claims.

 

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Category: Bias against mothers in family court


The ‘Silent Scandal’ of Courts Putting Children With Their Abusers

A 2013 Tampa Tribune article points out that the number of children victimized by parents was nearly seven times that of children exploited by strangers.

This makes family courts a critical place to protect children. But few judges speak directly to them. Instead, they appoint experts who investigate and advise the court on what is best for the child. It’s a system that invites corruption — the experts are paid thousands of dollars by one or both parents, facts on how their opinions were formed are hidden from public view and state laws  shield these experts from lawsuits.  Read the full story here.

 

Category: Bias against mothers in family court

 


International Organization for Women and Children

Women’s and Children’s rights to stay together and stay safe are being violated in epidemic proportions around the world.

Children are being routinely taken away from safe, loving mothers and court ordered to live with fathers who are not the primary bond, many of whom are physically violent or sexually abusive.

The goal of the International Organization for Women and Children is to unite everyone – good men and women – to demand an end to this discrimination against, and oppression of, women and children.

Visit http://www.rightsforwomenandchildren.org/ for more information.

 

Category: Bias against mothers in family court


Judge: I Gave a Child Molester Custody of His Daughter

Despite a mother’s cry for help, San Diego Judge DeAnn Salcido signed a court order in 2003 giving a father custody of his six-year-old daughter. He still had custody six years later when he was arrested and convicted of child molestation.  Read the full story here.

 

Category: Bias against mothers in family court


Securing Facebook: View page As

Once you’ve got everything locked down, check your work by viewing Facebook as someone else.fb-privacy

Steps:

  1. Click the lock in the upper right
  2. Select “Who can see my stuff”
  3. Click “What do other people see on my timeline? View As”

You’re now viewing your page as a public person (someone who’s not your friend or otherwise connected to you.)  See anything that shouldn’t be out there. Go to your Activity Log or your Privacy Settings and change it.


Bikers Against Child Abuse make abuse victims feel safe Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/azliving/articles/2012/07/13/20120713bikers-against-child-abuse-make-abuse-victims-feel-safe.html

These tough bikers have a soft spot: aiding child-abuse victims. Anytime, anywhere, for as long as it takes the child to feel safe, these leather-clad guardians will stand tall and strong against the dark, and the fear, and those who seek to harm.


Gray Rock

The Gray Rock method of dealing with psychopaths

When dealing with malignant narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines, drama queens, stalkers and other emotional vampires, it’s commonly advised that no response is the best response to unwanted attention. This is often true and No Contact (the avoidance of all communication) should be used whenever possible.


Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project

DV LEAP believes that real and lasting change in legal and social responses to domestic violence requires great patience and persistence. DV LEAP provides victims with the continued support needed – often for years – to take a case through the appellate process, in order to advance justice and achieve both system and perpetrator accountability.


Have You Filled a Bucket Today?

Through simple prose and vivid illustrations, this heartwarming book encourages positive behavior as children see how rewarding it is to express daily kindness, appreciation, and love. Bucket filling and dipping are effective metaphors for understanding the effects of our actions and words on the well being of others and ourselves.

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Leagle.com

Leagle, Inc. is a leading provider of copies of primary caselaw from all Federal courts and all State higher courts. Our collection is up to date within 24 hours of release of opinions from the courts and is also complete historically for all time for Federal courts and back to 1950 for state appellate and supreme courts. We add Slip Opinions daily, and Advance Sheets and Bound Volume copies as they become available.

http://www.leagle.com/


Court Listener

CourtListener.com: Free Legal Search Engine and Alert System

Create alerts, search for and browse the latest court opinions. Updated automatically with the latest court documents. An initiative of the Free Law Project.

https://www.courtlistener.com/


Legal Defense Fund for Mother of Three My name is Kerry O’Brien Smith. I am a 38-year-old mother of three beautiful children. My divorce to my abusive ex-husband was final two years ago, and since then, I have been in a legal battle for the right to see and spend time with my children.


Legal Fees for Single Mom This week, the loving mother of two small children was thrown in jail for following the recommendation of a Social Worker and two Judges in Wisconsin.


States/Countries

Scroll down or click on a state link to see the recommended attorneys for your state.

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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft

“He doesn’t mean to hurt me-he just loses control.”
“He can be sweet and gentle.”
“He’s scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he’s a great father.”
“He’s had a really hard life…”

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.

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Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t

Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Too many of us have invested ourselves into relationships that left us deeply wounded. We’ve been abandoned or taken advantage of, and left with little to show for what we’ve given. We’ve lost our sense of security and personal value in the process. And what’s worse, we tend to either repeat the same mistakes of judgment over and over . . . Or else lock the doors of our hearts entirely and throw away the key. Why do we choose the wrong people to get involved with? Is it possible to change? And if so, where does one begin? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance.

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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances — Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions — Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others — Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator — Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations.

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Divorce Poison

Dr. Richard A. Warshak

Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn’t work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you’ll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.

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Stop Walking on Eggshells

Paul Mason MS and Randi Kreger

Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is ‘yes,’ someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research and includes coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD sufferer in your life.

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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Bill Eddy LCSW JD and Randi Kreger

Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better—many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.

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